I knew it could happen but I think we all secretly think it wont happen to us...the scale is up 4-5lbs from my lowest and it started with my cycle but it hasnt disappeared and my eating has been crap so I know why. I don't have restriction and I'm in the bandster hell I've read about and I don't like it.
Plus I feel like everyone is watching me, my sister asked me today how much I've lost I said well on any given day between 38-42lbs and she says well thats really not alot, really bitch I bet you can't do it in 2 months. Because when you count the presurgery diet...(which excuse me people is all willpower) and this hell that I'm in now with no restriction, this weight was lost through my effort, not from the band.
But I can't make excuses I want this to bad...so I'm going to schedule me another fill next week, but this week I'm getting real basic even breaking out the protein shakes almost pre-op style, the thought of going up in weight is making me depressed and depression makes me want to eat. I gotta get my head right though and persevere I can't go back and losing weight feels so good.
I apologize again for my lackluster blogging, but even this post tonight took effort because I'm in such a funk and I am the type to hold bad feelings in because I don't feel like people get me, a prime example is the b.s. my sister said to me today, how would I ever be able to go to her and explain what I'm going through she is already looking at me like I failed.
I will keep you guys posted on my progress this week!
p.s. apologize again for the last post about bodily functions but it weirds me out.
A Letter to My Body
1 day ago