Days since surgery

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Trying to blog is so generic

I am just experimenting with the picture thing. This is me about 35 lbs down.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Baby Mama Drama

Speaking as the mother of someone's child who I am not married to, at what point do people get it? The relationship is over, you didn't make it, you will always be connected because of the child/children but they are not a high joker, trump card, or pawn piece. Don't use your children to get want you want from someone who is clearly trying to move on with their life.
Well, my boyfriend and I are having some issues with his ex right now and it is wreaking havoc on my eating habits. I weigh in today and lost .2lbs, that is what I gain last week, I am so ready to move down to the next lower tenths.
I was watching a show I think on TLC about a man who weighed a half of a ton and I realize I really have to get back focused. Stuff like that seems impossible but when I was complaining about being fat at 138lbs, I would have thought getting to 400lbs was impossible. Yet I have been there.
I have resolved to focus less on my relationship issues and more on my issues, I am out to make a better me, and although I have no greater cheerleader (he'll hate that) than my boyfriend I have to be happy with me before I can truly be happy with him...I am being patient with his process and so he will have to grant me the same courtesy.
Well will add some more later...just had a lil time and thought I would post trying to make it a habit.

Friday, June 02, 2006


Last week, I gained a pound and left the meeting with the resolve to get back on track with counting points etc, but no such thing happened. I ate what I felt was alot, I did start a new exercise dvd "Slim in 6" and boy after the first time I did it, I woke up crazy sore. But it must have made a difference because my eating was so horrible, when I went to weigh in on Tuesday, I just knew the gain was gonna be big, I felt bigger, I was expected like 5lbs+, I took my son and nephew to the meeting with me and told them to be prepared to slap me if I passed out. But to my surprise I only gained .2lbs which they said I could get rid of by going to the bathroom. You would think that grace would have gotten me in line.....but not so much.
Yesterday a friend brought me a breakfast bowl from Hardees, biscuit,sausage, egg smothered in sausage gravy. It was very good but with every bite I winced....I didn't eat it all but most of it then I looked up the nutritional info and it was 19.5 points.....HOLY COW! Then on top of it I had lo mein last nite. I suck!!!!
Today is a new day, I know I am PMSing but still. This is the first time since starting that I gained 2 weeks in a row...not trying for a third I need to be very strict this weekend. I have to regain focus and remember the big picture.
I have started to realize how much I use food for comfort, my boyfriend and I have been having some challenges and same thing with my family and think that is why my eating has been out of whack. I am trying to channel it into exercise.....pray for me.