Days since surgery

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

"Ooooh, look Nana a big one"

Can you believe this little kid sitting in a stroller said that about me....I truly felt like a freak of nature. It was enough to make the old me go and grab something sweet to eat...but I didn't, I just walked away fast because "Nana" was distracted and didn't know what the baby was pointing at. It is crazy because I almost fear innocent little ones now, they are just being honest.
But for some good news, yesterday I had to go to a Yankees game as a teambuilding exercise for my job. After parking the car we had a good little walk to actually get to the field and then when we got there, I looked up and there were all these steps to climb, well I was looking around for the elevator. But I climbed them and was proud, but if we'd done this in December I never would have made it, what a difference 2 months made. ...I want to thank Leslie Sansone (Walk Away the pounds dvd) for making this possible.

On top of all that at WI last nite I was down 4lbs.....damn if that wasnt a hallelujah day!

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

I'm not a playa....I just crush alot

I am tired...for real tired. I am tired of being fat, I used to be fine yall, you know "phat". I was...for real. But the problem is, that was 20 years ago and i was in high school and damn I am tired of reminiscing about it. It's not too late, although way too many of my young adult years have been spent in the land of morbid obesity. I just wanna shop at more stores, I just wanna play basketball with my son, I just wanna go somewhere and not have to gauge the strength of the chair, I wanna conquer my fear of chairs with arms, I wanna not be in fear when I am around little kids who don't know that it is rude to say "she is fat". Or they just stare at me in awe, simple awe. I could be a cartoon character. I wanna.....this could go forever. The funny thing is, I considered weight loss surgery but they say it should be a last resort, when you have tried everything else, and after some honesty with myself I had to admit I haven't tried much. I know you are thinking, how the hell someone gets to 400lbs without trying every diet. I was too damn smart for my own good and a natural skeptic. I can tell you about every diet and the flaws of the diet. My weight has been an area where my high IQ, low optimism, and high skepticism have been my biggest roadblocks.
As of 1/2/06 I joined weight watchers using their flex plan and as of today I am down 27lbs from 398.4 to 371.4. The highest weight I know of is 400lbs but who really weighs themself when you are that big. Not to mention where do you weigh yourself. I am putting myself out there yall hope you enjoy the read.