I am trying to become the best me I can and shed the weight that's protected me forever. I'm a single mother to a beautiful son. I was banded on 9/8/10 and my band is named Sasha...Ms. Fierce if you nasty!
I did a 2 mile walking workout by Leslie Sansone and wanted to join in the posting of my post workout glow (glow my arse, funky sweat!!!) I could only show neck up cause I was only in my bra, not sports bra, just bra and I don't think you ready for that jelly (Beyonce song, in honor of my band's name Sasha not so Fierce).
P.S. I look rough!!! lol
Let me start by saying that Dr. Phil sometimes works my last nerve but I have to say that this article on his website spoke to me. I found it by reading someone's success story on MyFitnessPal.com, where I have been tracking my food and exercise lately. I am really trying to be more accountable for what is going in my mouth because the scale is not moving and I haven't been either.
Stop Choosing to be Overweight
If you are obese, you're putting your health at risk. Take control of your weight now to reduce the possibility of suffering serious complications. Having tried and failed in the past is no excuse to give up on yourself now. Dr. Phil spells out the most common weight loss pitfalls so that you can avoid them.
What is your excuse? "I don't have time to work out? I'm too busy working?" Get real! Life Law #1 is "You either get it or you don't." What is making you fat? It isn't your schedule or your metabolism or your willpower. Stop making excuses.
•Letting your weight be your payoff.
Life Law #3 is, "People Do What Works." How is your weight working for you? What is your payoff for being overweight? Does the weight protect you by providing a barrier? Is the weight a form of rebellion? Do you get attention from it by playing the victim? Is your overeating a way of getting pleasure? Accept that you have chosen to be overweight because of the payoff, and have stayed overweight by having a lifestyle that contributes to it. My weight is my shield and protection that I do recognize and I believe that I want to get rid of it but now I question myself everyday about that. I'm a person that somehow ends up putting on a couple of pounds after too many compliments or a new low on the scale.
Diets don't work because dieting is not a long-term solution. If you diet to lose weight, you'll gain the weight back once you get off the diet. Remember, you behave your way to success. There are no quick fixes. Even gastric bypass surgery can only provide short-term results if your behavior and your thinking don't change.I love this bolded line, I want everyone who thinks we "cheated"(lapbanders and bypassers) to know we still work hard for it all.
•Responding to triggers.
What triggers you to overeat? Is it a certain time of the day? Do you turn to food when you get upset? Life Law #4 is, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." So you need to be honest about how you are using food, and change the way you respond to your triggers.I think I eat out of loneliness although I like being alone(hard to explain), I'm starting to think I may be mildly depressed but I don't want to own that.
•Listening to internal dialogue.
What is your internal dialogue saying? That you're a failure? A quitter? That you'll never lose weight? If so, you need to change these limiting beliefs because they are sabotaging your efforts. How will you change if you don't believe you can change? How can you lose the weight this time if deep down you believe that the outcome is predestined and that you are destined to fail? (This is one of the reasons I think I'm going to start therapy because I'm a chronic self-saboteur and doubter.
This is added by me also "borrowed".
We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty." -- Maya Angelou
Quick post because I should be in bed by now. I was watching this show called Heavy that comes and A&E and this woman says that her one of main goals is to be able to run and play with her grandkids. The nutritionist took them into a grocery store and had them look at some of the things they would normally pick up. The woman said "I've been choosing food over my grandkids" and I thought wow, how many things in my life have I put food above. Just life in general when you get this big your weight interferes with everything, it dictates how you live your life completely. I have robbed my son of many things in his childhood and I have missed out on so many things that I truly wanted to do, but I chose food instead. The thought that I have chose food over my son that I love more than anything is the world makes me sad, but it also makes me motivated. It is not too late...and I am going to make this happen. I owe it to him and more importantly to myself.
My sister works for A!r Canada and they serve (at least they use to, not sure now) these little cookies on their flights that I love. They aren't too sweet but they are delish to me and most importantly I recognize everything on the short list of ingredients. Well now that I'm trying to stop lying to myself and get my eating back on track with a more protein centered diet, I am trying to limit snacking. Well, it is also that lovely time of the month where my craving for sweets is at it's peak. Well W*lgreens the drug store sells these cookies and I knew they sold them in a pack of 32 but they also sell them where the cookies are pre-packaged in sets of 2 (built in portion control) so that's what I bought and they hit the spot when I need some sweetness. 2 cookies are 72 calories...in the words of Charlie Sheen...DUH...WINNING! I thought I'd share this Belgium made goodness with my friends!
P.S. I have really stepped my water game up big time, but if I have to keep going to the funky bathroom here it work that kinda takes away the pride I feel for getting my water in. This building is fairly new but apparently they didnt cap some sewer line under the building so the first floor women's bathroom has a distinct funk about it at all times.
I can't believe it has been 6 months, I can't believe I'm so stuck in one place, I've changed strategies this week so hopefully I can see some movement in the scale who for the record is no longer my friend. But I promised pics a while back so here they are although no noticeable difference can be seen from my last pics, but I can see a difference since some of my heaviest times especially in my face (of course).
Do the things you used to talk about doing but never did. Know when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don't be intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn to say no, so your yes has some oomph. Spend time with the friends who lift you up, and cut loose the ones who bring you down. Stop giving your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than being interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young enough to enjoy it. Finally know who you are.”
Okay let me tell you guys something that is very crazy. I may have mentioned before that there is a young tenderoni (showing my age) 23 years old that has had a crush on my for the past 4 years. We talk from time to time I feel like his big sister most of the time and but ultimately he is good for my ego.
Well the tenderoni sends me a text saying that he had a dream about me and at first I was afraid of what he was going to say but he said "nothin freaky you were extra skinny (he doesn't know about surgery) though and your eyes were sooooooo beautiful i was nervous to speak to you" he also told me he almost didnt recognize me at first. I was like yea you wer dreaming.
Fast forward about a week later I get an email from a former co-worker who retired in January she knows I had the surgery because I referred her to my doctor and she consequently had the surgery as well. Well she now lives in the mountain, anyways....she emails me saying that she had a dream of me the night before and in her dream I was really skinny and had on this beautiful dress and...SHE ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE ME. It really freaked me out for her to use some of the same words that the Tenderoni used. I emailed her back and told her that I hope to make her dreams come true. He said beautiful eyes and she said beautiful dress well I'm just hoping for the skinny part lol!
I wish I had good news on the weight loss front but I had to get my last fill removed because I got to a point where I couldn't even drink anything. My doctor says I will probably need to come back and get a smidge of it put back in (ok he didn't use the word smidge). I am trying to not get discourage by this lack of progress and I had been doing well on the exercise front (and by well it just means I was doing some) but since I have started the second job I haven't been motivated to exercise, every free moment I am trying to spend time with my son, get some resemblance of order in my apartment or go to sleep. But I know this is life and death and I am going to make the time
I have finally gotten to the point that I've been reading about like forever, where certain things get stuck, pbing is a reality, fine chewing and slow eating is a must. Because of that I realized how spoiled I've been because apparently I haven't been chewing food up as well as I thought I was. As a matter of fact I was trying to eat some spaghetti and got stuck immediately when i pb'd there were clearly whole strands of spaghetti that didn't have any teeth marks at all like I just slurped it down. One day it seemed like I couldn't eat anything because a couple of days prior I'd had tooth extractions one on either side of my mouth so optimal chewing level could not be obtained and my band just seemed super duper tight.
It gets frustrating at times because sometimes when I eat by the time I have chewed my first two bites my food is cold and I've been having some rough times financially so it is really hard for me to feel like I'm wasting food. I struggle with that a lot and but I am coming to the realization that this is what I signed up for and if a little food gets wasted it will be worth it as I waste away lol.
Oh and the joy of shopping in my closet....hoarding has its advantages in this lapband journey. I feel like I've talked about this before but I'm too lazy to check. But I watch Hoarders and now on the new OWN network I watch Enough Already with Peter Walsh and I know the rules, if you havent worn it in a year get rid of it. Well damn it I'm glad I don't follow rules because due to the current financial crisis and although I havent lost a ton of weight and care most of my old clothes (albeit some may or may not have elastic bands that go on ponytails looped around the first belt loop and the button to make the waist fit better) I have been able to wear clothes that I haven't worn in forever and some I've never worn.
*WARNING--HIP HOP SLANG WILL FOLLOW* Yea I be poppin' tags! That statement is pretty self explanatory it is used when you have new items and you are taking the price tags off for the first time. My sister recently had a baby shower and I wore a cute denim dress that I have had since about 2006 when I was losing weight on WW but I had never worn it and never took tags off. Everyone loved the dress and my sis thought I'd been shopping (she knows my finances) I said "Yep right in my walk in closet". So even when the scale hasn't been as generous to me as I would like those NSVs keep my head in the game.
My water intake still leaves a lot to be desired but my activity level has improved dramatically, I have been using the Exercise On Demand channel and doing a 1 mile walking workout and I've been combining it with a short get started workout by The Biggest Loser contestants. Also I live on the 3rd floor of my apartment complex and I've been taking the stairs a lot more often, which is huge for me because Mimi don't do stairs.
One last thing, I am down 50lbs from my weight before the pre-op diet started which I've been thinking was my heaviest weight. Oh how we forget...I found a WW book from 2009 where I weighed 9lbs heavier than what I've been thinking was my highest recorded weight, so I am 59lbs down from my highest recorded weight and when I thought about it that true highest weight is what made me start thinking about having lapband surgery again.