Days since surgery

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Not losing weight and frustrated..

I knew it could happen but I think we all secretly think it wont happen to us...the scale is up 4-5lbs from my lowest and it started with my cycle but it hasnt disappeared and my eating has been crap so I know why.  I don't have restriction and I'm in the bandster hell I've read about and I don't like it. 
Plus I feel like everyone is watching me, my sister asked me today how much I've lost I said well on any given day between 38-42lbs and she says well thats really not alot, really bitch I bet you can't do it in 2 months.  Because when you count the presurgery diet...(which excuse me people is all willpower) and this hell that I'm in now with no restriction, this weight was lost through my effort, not from the band. 
But I can't make excuses I want this to bad...so I'm going to schedule me another fill next week, but this week I'm getting real basic even breaking out the protein shakes almost pre-op style, the thought of going up in weight is making me depressed and depression makes me want to eat. I gotta get my head right though and persevere I can't go back and losing weight feels so good. 
I apologize again for my lackluster blogging, but even this post tonight took effort because I'm in such a funk and I am the type to hold bad feelings in because I don't feel like people get me, a prime example is the b.s. my sister said to me today, how would I ever be able to go to her and explain what I'm going through she is already looking at me like I failed.
I will keep you guys posted on my progress this week!
p.s. apologize again for the last post about bodily functions but it weirds me out.

4 comments:

Justawallflower said...

Hey, don't listen to people like your sister! and if there were ever anyone to get you is it the people here. They have been there, they understand. And, to be completely honest, we all got to our pre-op weight for lack of will power and bad choices. We do not just wake up after surgery and have all of that changed. It is going to take time. As I was discussing with a fellow bandster yesterday, we spent years building these habits. You have to give it some time. But kuddos to you for having the determination to move beyond it. You will get through, and we will be here for you, ups and downs.

Jen said...

It's frustrating, but you will get through it and you'll lose more weight. It takes a long time to get that perfect fill level. And until then it IS all you. People don't understand...they think the surgery is a magic bullet but it's not. Until you have restriction, it's all you. Be proud of those lbs. that is ALOT in 2 months. You are doing great!
Hang in there girl!!!

Stephanie said...

Sorry I haven't been around much to comment as of late, but first off, you are doing great and progressing nicely. If I were you I would have given her the rough side of her tonuge! Don't let anyone else get you down. You are strong, you are amazing and you will be successful!

Annie said...

Hang in there. Bandster hell will be over before you know it! I, too, gained a few after I was banded, and not filled, but it came off and then some! You are doing so well, don't be discouraged. I was banded on 10/1, so we are in this together, lady!