Days since surgery

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Stuck in a rut

I am the master of self sabotage...I wake up every day and say I am going to exercise today and stay on points. But somewhere during the day I eat something I shouldn't and I start the day journaling and then stop. I have not consistently exercised in weeks. I am at 39lbs lost now, I have been stuck between 39 and 45lbs for the last month or two. I need to get on the ball, I was watching an old Oprah and they talked about feeling that you are worthy and how the way we feel about ourselves is developed when we are young. It is so true I never felt good enough in my family, I never felt truly loved or maybe I knew they loved me but never felt liked. I was very smart but being smart wasn't cool or popular (to me) so alot of my accomplishments I kept to myself.
I have let fear, self doubt and self sabotage control my entire life. In order for me to live the life God intended for me I have to change that voice in my head.


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